Friday, July 16, 2010

national ice cream day 2010 (thank god!)

oh thank god.

oh. thank. god.

and if there is no god, then i say that there is one now.

because it is that time again.

yes, yes it is.

it is that time when every god-fearing American is asked to fulfill their patriotic duty and take up their arms and pick up their bowls and grasp their spoons and come together and share in the national commemoration of that most holy of holy holidays:

National. Ice. Cream. Day.

yes, yes, you heard it right.

National Ice Cream Day.


declared by none other than President (he's a Prophet!) Ronald Reagan, July is National Ice Cream Month and on the 3rd Sunday in July culminates in National Ice Cream Day. on this day, all Americans (including you, pilgrim!) are expected to observe a time-honored and ancient commandment that is most righteous and worthy and just, and worship in a manner most pious and pray in a manner most divine: go forth, and anoint yourself in ice cream--and let it be plentiful (it's a moral imperative!).

because god is ice cream.

yes, you heard me right.

god is ice cream.

as in holy. as in sacred. as in sacrosanct. as in supreme. as in divine.

sweet cold creamy yummy yummy yummy yum yum yum goodness.


ice cream.

take. eat. this is the body. given for you!

ice cream.

pray! pray, i tell you!

ice cream.

it's good for the soul!

i won't say too much more, since i've written my homages to ice cream before, both serious and humorous, and so have covered my gamut of sentiments regarding the esteemed position that ice cream holds in my life...and maybe does as well for you. they'll make you laugh, they'll make you cry, they'll make you ponder the mysteries of ice cream, and make you wonder why.

you can review them at your leisure--hopefully over the said delicate treat:
enjoy my friends. honor this day. honor your country. honor our god. honor ice cream.



ice cream.


ice. cream.




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