begin again

well, i guess i'm back.

i was on vacation for a few weeks, with an extended time off to spend some more time with my family and reconnect to them and whole bunch of other things i probably should have stayed in touch with but had forgotten about. it wasn't something really planned (it was my parents' idea, if anything), but something that i certainly wasn't going to turn down.

vacations, i've learned, are the kind of thing that you don't realize how much you need them until you actually have them. and by vacation, i don't mean vacation just from a job or school, but vacation from everything you're doing. as in comprehensively changing your life and forcing yourself into a new environment in totality from place to time to schedule to habit to sleep to eat to drink to labor to play to breathe to think to dream to live. because it forces you to re-evaluate and think about things from different perspectives, and in so allow you to gain some insights into what you do versus what you are and what you want versus what you need and what choices you have to resolve the differences between them all.

not to say that's what happened. but at least i found out that sometimes it is good to not train for a few weeks, and get off the regimen, and clear out the agenda of tasks and deadlines, and just let go and let yourself sink into a rhythm of another life...and it helps all the more to do so in the company of people who love you and want to help you, even if they don't really know how.

so now i'm back to begin again. perhaps better. hopefully better. but at least better enough to resume the course of living with a sense that i should have had but had forgotten about.

and i'll try to pick things up again here in the same manner.

with a connection i should have had but had forgotten about.