Worship with me now: O Mighty Gods of Troy, accept these souls as your new acolytes to the great gospel that is the word and message of our holy sport--the trinity most divine. Do with them as you have done for all those who have come before: make their bodies lean, and strong, and of great lung capacity and glycogen absorption and VO2 max and supreme oxygen-processing efficiency!!! Make them a people who can swim all day and bike all night and rise again to run in the morn, and still work a full day and bring home the bacon and light the fires and kick the tires of a raging weekend party scene that is the envy of the USC student community!!! Make them bodies that just keep going...and going...and going...and going...Make them USC TRIATHLON!!!
Say it with me now: 2...1...3...babeeeeeee!!!
Can I get an amen? A-MEN! Preachin' to the choir, baby!!! Hallelujah, my brothers and sisters!!!
As for the rest of you...there is still time to receive the word...
I said, can I get an amen? A-MEN!!!
Remember: we love the smell of sunscreen in the morning--it smells like...VICTORY!!!
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