Monday, January 15, 2007

an extra off-day of poetry

i was supposed to do a long brick today with an 80-mile bike ride and 10-mile run. but i woke up this morning and i said "fuck it." the forecast was for temps in the 30s and gusting winds of 30mph. and i was tired, and my legs were still sore, and i just didn't want to get out of bed.

some days you just need to take the day off. some days you just don't have it in you. some days it's just not there.

and i'm starting to believe that those days are the days when something--your body, your subconscious, the triathlon gods, whatever--is telling you it'd be a wise (or wiser) decision to just let everything go. those days are the days when you might end up doing more damage by pushing on the workout than by just giving your body, your mind, and your spirit a rest and a chance to recover and recharge. the alternative is to keep struggling through, and either crushing yourself over into the over-training zone or burning yourself out so far that you end up taking more time out later on down the training schedule.

and i'm guessing that's what's going on with me today.

so when the alarm went off, i hit snooze, rolled over and curled back under my nice warm quilts, and didn't bother waking up until 9:30am. and then, after a hot shower and during a very long hot cup of cinnamon hazelnut coffee, i decided i was going to take this day off and not do a single goddamn thing.

except browse the internet for poetry.

yeah, so every once in awhile i kind of start perusing for poetry. in the bookstore, in the library, in my own home. on a bus stop, on a street sign, on a billboard. over the radio, over tv, even over the internet. call it a habit. call it the musings of a lazy mind avoiding work. call it my subconscious seeking sanity in an insane world. call it what you will.

i just find it comforting.

and it really helps. i just can't explain it. it really does. in the disorienting blindness and endless motion of a 2.4 mile swim. in the the agonizing reaches and pain of a 112 mile bike ride. in the interminable monotony and deepening dazed meanderings of a 26.2 mile run. it just helps.

i think it's because it reminds me that i'm just not a creature of staggering steps and quivering muscles and dripping sweat. i think it's because it reminds me that life is more than just a struggle to endure and finish and survive a race, metaphorical or real. i think it's because it reminds me that there is a place of infinite beauty and incomparable grace far greater than the abyss, no matter how deep the darkness or vast the empty loneliness or awesome the void.

i think it's because it reminds me that i'm human.

and because it reminds me that there is more to life than this...

and more than this to life.

here's what i found:

it helps.

and with it, i can go on.

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